So I Married a Bank Robber – I Do Every Day – January 13, 2021

So I married a bank robber
By Bruce Goff

One time I discovered my wife robbed a bank.

I was driving her car when I noticed a chain dangling from a pen in her visor. Now I’m no super-sleuth, but those chains are put on pens to keep them somewhere.

I confronted her and she confessed to everything. She had “accidentally” taken it from the drive-thru at the bank and intended to return it.

I told a friend and he said, “So your wife robbed a bank?”

Yes! She did!

Okay, maybe that’s not the most charitable way to frame it.

Uncharitable framing—that’s something I do to her way too much.

“You NEVER listen to me!”

Really? Never? She’s never once listened to you?

“You’re so emotional. You’re making too big of a deal out of this.”

Really? It’s about some emotional ratio? Not the fact that she’s upset?

Sometimes it’s just how I frame it in my mind. She never gets enough done at home while I’m at work. She’s just lazy and doesn’t respect me.

Really? You do know she’s keeping your two little girls alive on a minute-by-minute basis. Remind me again how much work around the house you get done when watching the girls? (Hint: It’s somewhere around none).

Let’s try re-framing these charitably.

“Hey, I noticed you seem distracted. Is something up?”

“This is really affecting you. Help me better understand why.”

“I’m so thankful to God for a wife who gives so much of herself for our children while keeping our home from burning down.”

There can be resentment underneath uncharitable framing. But the Bible says in 1 Corinithians 13 that love (or “charity” in the King James) is not resentful—rather it bears all things and believes all things.

Marriages need charity.

It’s not about creating excuses for your spouse’s sin, but changing the lens through which you view your spouse. When you want your spouse to change, first try changing your framing. Ditch resentment and choose charity.

It’s possible she just accidentally borrowed the pen.

In this FamilyLife Today® podcast episode, Ted Cunningham encourages couples not to resent each other’s quirks but to find humor in them.

The good stuff: I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3)

Action points:

  • Think of a time when you framed your spouse uncharitably. How could it be reframed?
  • I heard this from a pastor once, try reading 1 Corinthians 13 but replace the word “love” with your name. See if it still sounds true. (If it doesn’t, you’re not alone.)
  • Pray that God would make what’s true of love true of you.
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Better Together – Homeword – January 13

Better Together

This devotional was written by Doug Fields

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! —Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

There’s a phrase used in churches that I really love: “We are better together.” Better together is a fantastic slogan. It simply means that when other people are in our lives, we’ll thrive. It’s a great idea (and biblical)!

Better together also means that God has created and called us into relationships. Not only has He summoned us into a personal relationship with Himself, but He invites us to have significant relationships with other humans. Apart from entering into those kinds of deep, real relationships, we cannot live the lives of abundance that God intended.

But when we do have real, connecting relationships in our lives, we can: Know and be known; love and be loved; celebrate and be celebrated; and serve and be served…that’s God’s invitation to us today. Isn’t that what you really want?

When I think of friendship, three images come to mind:

Friendship is sometimes like a lump of unformed clay. It just sits there like a big gray blob of muck. It’s undeveloped; it’s not good for much…but it has potential. It’s just going to take some work to shape it.

Friendship is sometimes like a lump of clay that’s being formed. Time and intention have been put into it. Maybe it’s developing the shape of a bowl or an urn or mug. The friendship is nice, it could be functional, but it isn’t yet all it’s meant to be.

But friendship is occasionally like a beautiful vase. Here, the clay that started as a lump has been formed and put through the fire. When it comes out the other side, it’s complete. It’s functional and it’s all it’s meant to be. It’s a thing of beauty.

That’s always God’s invitation with friendships: to let them be all they can be.

These types of relationships are always within our grasp. God brings them our way, and He invites our cooperation in their forming. If you’ve been holding back, drowning in a pool of isolation, the good news is that you can change! Don’t wait. Find someone. Connect. Cultivate. And commit to cherish your newfound friendship. Seize the day! Because, remember, we’re always better together!


1. When you hear “better together,” who in your life do you think about?

2. Think about your life and a few people you might be able to reach out and connect with. Who are these people? How can you take the first steps?


Matthew 22:37-39Proverbs 17:17Proverbs 27:6917

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