It’s Not About the Fajitas – I Do Every Day – December 4, 2020

It’s Not About the Fajitas
By Lisa Lakey

I diced, chopped, sliced, and sautéed to my heart’s content. The chicken sizzled as it hit the pan, the tortillas were keeping warm in the oven. Twenty minutes later, dinner was served.

Sixty minutes after we finished, my husband came home. He saw the meal I had prepared, the one the kids and I had enjoyed more than an hour before, and apologetically said he wasn’t hungry. I just smiled and didn’t say a thing. His schedule had been crazy all week. No big deal, right?

Until 90 minutes later.

The kids were in bed and we were kicking up our feet for the night. My dear husband walked in to the kitchen and poured a bowl of cereal. I heard the familiar crunch of the bag, and the sound stopped me in my reading. Oh, no he didn’t.

But he did. As he brought his bowl to the living room, cluelessly crunching along the way, I simmered. When he caught my glare, he asked, “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” I muttered. But with a glance from me to the bowl, it hit him.

“Sorry,” he said. “I really wasn’t thinking.”

It wasn’t about the fajitas. It was about the effort I put out to make my family a nice meal. To me, the bowl of cereal represented his lack of appreciation. To him? It was just a quick snack. A bit of comfort food after a long day.

So often in marriage, the little annoyances, or even moments we feel disrespected, are actually just moments of miscommunication. He said one thing, you heard (or better yet, felt) something entirely different. These aren’t intentional jabs meant to leave scars. Sometimes it’s just two different points of view, other times it’s an “I really wasn’t thinking” moment.

Instead of stewing over these moments, let’s remember our spouses aren’t our enemies. Look at the entire situation (What was their day like? Are there any distractions around them?) and what we already know about our spouses (Is he normally kind and thoughtful?) before jumping to conclusions.

In this episode of FamilyLife Today, Jim Keller shares a simple, yet profound, truth: How you listen has a lot more to do with communication than how you speak.

The good stuff: A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. (Proverbs 18:2)

Action points: The next time your spouse does something that gets your blood boiling, stop. Before saying anything, ask yourself two things: Does this fit with who I know my spouse is? Is there something going on with them under the surface?

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Being Part of God’s Plan – Homeword – December 4

Being Part of God’s Plan

This devotional was written by Jim Liebelt

Note: Today’s devotional is offered as a resource that you can use with your family to help make the most of the Christmas season focus.

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.” “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.” Then the angel left her. Luke 1:35-38

Mary has an honored place as being the mother of Jesus. In our Christian circles, we celebrate Mary as a virtuous young woman willfully taking on the responsibility of becoming mother of the Son of God. Still, it’s easy to overlook the difficulties Mary faced in accepting this role. She was likely in her mid-teens at the time of the angel’s message.

An unmarried teen pregnancy in Jewish culture at the time would have been quite scandalous. She faced the prospect of being an outcast in her hometown. Further, imagine Mary attempting to explain the circumstances of her pregnancy to her parents and to Joseph, her fiancé. Being part of God’s plan was no doubt very difficult for Mary.

One of the characteristics that set Mary apart for her role was her willing obedience. “May it be to me as you have said,” was Mary’s reply to the angel. This is simply amazing.

We, just like Mary, are part of God’s plan to carry His light and love to a needy world. Each of us have been given different roles in His plan, but none are unimportant. It might be difficult to see ourselves as being active participants in what God is doing in the world. It’s not always easy to say yes to God. Saying yes can mean facing difficulties and persecution. But, God always provides the means of sustaining us when we choose obedience to His desires for our lives.

As we celebrate Christmas this year, remember Mary as an example of the obedience God desires of us.


1. Put yourself in Mary’s position. How do you think you would have responded to the angel’s message?

2. What makes it hard to believe that you are part of God’s plan for the world?

3. What can you do to become more obedient to God?


Watch the movie, The Nativity Story with your family. Afterward, use the content above to debrief, noting Mary’s obedience and bringing home the concept that God calls us to similar obedience as well.

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